Thursday, April 11, 2013

Lenten Retreat and Solitude

Today, I would describe myself with several adjectives. One of those is really inconsistent blogger on my almost now, nonexistent blog. I beg your pardon. I have six drafts saved and only one published blog since January. I feel so blessed to have such patient supporters. 

Back in early February, I saw God falling from the sky in the form of snow on the desert. Though the snow did not wrap me in a warm blanket and hold me tight, I with my blue lips and frozen toes felt comforted by the morning snow. It was majestic and surreal to be out on the desert alone on the Lenten Spirituality Retreat. It was mind boggling to be in the desert sleeping near a stream with snow on both cottonwoods and saguaros. 

The retreat, one of the unique facets of the YAV program in Tucson, started with two days of retreat at the main camp ground with my community members. We had times of fellowship and more serious focused moments as we acclimated to the idea of solitude in the desert. On the third morning we moved to our individual sites--spread out along the canyon. 

In my time of solitude, I was pleased to discover, I am very comfortable with myself. Even if I cannot proclaim to know myself through and through, I am absolutely comfortable with me. I felt so much peace sitting on a rock next to the small stream that morphs into a raging river during the monsoon season. I felt joy when I hiked up the canyon wall only to see the peaks of mountains all around me and no sign of urban or human development. I felt so small on God's big earth. I was out of control of what might come my way. I had to let go and be wrapped in his beautiful, intricate quilt or else be overcome by fear. I am so blessed to have experienced so deeply a reminder that God is SO big and that he envelops us each in his hands--his creation, everyday. 

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